Since I was very young, I was aware of the differences between Potong Pasir and Bukit Batok. The flats looked older, the children’s playground were the sandbox kind, and there was no MRT. I always thought that Potong Pasir was a older, poorer neighbourhood, until I learnt it was an opposition constituency.

Whenever my parents and relatives talk politics, it was about how PP was an opposition ward, and how it affects their lives. Sometimes it’s about how PAP treats PP differently as an opposition ward, sometimes about what can be done to improve their quality of life. But it always comes down to the same thing. How much they love Mr. Chiam See Tong, and the things he’d done for them as their MP.

I remember running around the small park area near my grandmother’s place. I remember playing with my cousins at the sandbox playground – because that was the type we liked, and we had the new sponge flooring types in Bukit Batok. I remember going to the small convenience store and the coffee shop. I remember running along the corridors and playing with my cousins and disturbing the neighbours. I remember always taking shortcuts through the community center, and how alive and vibrant it was. I remember being surprised at the community spirit, because I didn’t feel that where I lived. And now as a resident of Pioneer, I sometimes feel like I’m the foreigner because there seem to be so few Singaporeans in this area. But most importantly, I remember the love the people had for Mr. Chiam and that was a kind of love for your MP that you didn’t see in many other constituencies. Maybe it’s because they knew he loves the residents of PP and wants to make a better home for them.

I don’t think we can find or reproduce the same feeling of community and closeness that PP had. Even as a ‘guest’ of PP all these years, I could feel how wonderful the community is in PP, how welcoming. Every time I go to PP to visit relatives, it feels like going home, somehow. My relatives were en-bloced and moved to Sengkang and I can tell you, there just isn’t a sense of community there. These are the things I’ll always remember and love about PP.

And with Mr. Chiam retiring from politics after having lost Bishan-Toh Payoh yesterday, there is a sense of loss, the end of an era. Mr. Chiam had fought the good fight for 27 years, I think he deserves a rest. Perhaps the up and coming Opposition parties can be a force to reckon with, like him. Thank you Mr. Chiam for letting Singaporeans know what it truly is like to come home to a community, and what a true MP is supposed to do for his/her people. You have nothing but my respect.

He leaned over to feed me a piece of pork.

“Ahhh…” he said, making airplane movements.

“Stop it, I can’t eat anymore. There’s so much noodles here I feel like I’m going to give birth to a noodle baby.”

And because he wanted to make me laugh, because he lived in HK for 5 years, because he had a funny thought, because he is the way he is, he uttered.

“Noo dow Bay beee”

In a really exaggerated HK accent. And then we burst out laughing like two giddy schoolkids.

I love him so much.

Dear Mr. Brad Pitt Sir,

How are you? I am fine. Actually, I am Waddles.

That is all.

Waddles.

I’ve just realized that I didn’t need to be cool.

==
Despite being 21 years, I don’t know what kind of person I am, that’s why I’m constantly changing in front of different people. I honestly don’t know what kind of a person I am, I have changed myself so much to fit different groups of people that I don’t know what I am anymore.

In secondary school, I am the girl who laughs loudly with SL, and the guys. The girl who doesn’t talk much in lessons. The girl who loves literature and words, and took the path that not many students took. The girl who speaks mandarin in school, even though she speaks english at home and have been doing so for 12 years of her life, because no one in school speaks english and she had to fit in. The self conscious girl who learned to laugh at herself and to accept that people can treat you good for no reason other than cause they like you. The girl who was awkward with people, who didn’t know how to make herself girly so boys will like her.

Then JC, the girl who felt she didn’t fit in. The girl who should really feel at home but isn’t. The girl who felt weird in her 3 month course, but was made to feel welcome. (by G. I still remember her, even though she might have forgotten). The girl who slowly opened up. The girl who found her bestest friends. The girl who for some strange reason, people liked despite her awkwardness, maybe because it was funny she was allergic to peanuts. The girl who didn’t have a problem with conversing in english, but didn’t like it that her classmates acted like mandarin was a disease. The girl who was proud she is effectively bilingual, but still conformed. The girl who loved sports but didn’t like competition.

Now, the girl who still doesn’t know who she is really. Who still doesn’t know where she is going, what she is going to do. The girl who envies others who knew what their future is going to be like. The girl who desperately needs someone to lean on but she won’t show it because she just isn’t that kind of person. The girl who thought she lost all her friends, when it turns out they thought she’d dropped them. The girl who doesn’t ask people out cause she’s afraid they will think she’s boring. The girl who ran away everytime someone tries to get close.

The girl people think is aloof, but later told her she is frankly, ‘crazy’.

Maybe this is the real her.

==

There, I’ve said it. I’m clingy.

Sometimes, I can’t get over how he looks at me like I’m the only person in the whole world. How did I get so lucky?

I hate it that I care enough to make a stand about it.

I hate it that my parents are so easily influenced.

I hate it that everything might get out of hand, and I might have to come in and clear the shit.

I hate it that I was the one who objected in the first place.

I hate it that I care.

I wish I didn’t.