Difficult times

Like I’ve said in a previous post the start to this new year is not the greatest.

I hope it will get better.

Miserable

I hate hives.

Now I know how why television shows like to harp on how some people ‘triumph’ over their illnesses or diseases. I used to think that it is no big deal, and my favourite line was ‘it will be over soon’. But what if it doesn’t?

I’ve had hives since Wednesday night. I saw a doctor on Thursday morning. It is Sunday morning now and still my hives are at it. If you guys read this and go ‘oh it’s just hives’, I urge you to google it. Imagine seeing it every morning on your legs. Imagine it on your hands and backs. It’s worse because I don’t know when the next breakout would be. It could be my legs, or hands or back. For a while there were a bit on my face.

It is the worst feeling ever.

I’ve cried so many times just looking at it I can’t remember a time I was this miserable.

I feel so helpless. I have no idea what brought this on, and what really triggered it. I’ve used up all my cream medicine.

I’ve called CJ up crying a few times.

I’ve burst into tears for no reason a few times.

Thank goodness this week the maid was with us because I had no strength to do housework or even just picking up after myself.

I don’t know when the hives will go away. I keep feeling scared that it would come back when I least expect it. I don’t even feel like going out because I don’t know what I will come into contact with that will trigger it again. Mostly also because I have so much red welts over my body I think people will feel grossed out when the see me.

Never really been weak about anything but this might be a first.

In closing,

(I wrote this at the end of 2005, never posted it )

Conversation

Him ‘Let’s go buy a pair of shoes for you’

Me ‘What for?’

Him ‘You always wear your favourite pair of shoes, it’s going to get worn out’

Me ‘But you can’t buy shoes for me!’

Him ‘Why not?’

Me ‘It means you want me to walk away from you’

Him ‘Would you?’

Me ‘I wouldn’t’

I don’t really understand why

Whenever we have family gatherings, or when family friends come over to visit, conversation will gear towards the kids – Me and my brother. Maybe it is oversensitivity, but have I done nothing to let my parents be proud of me? For the last hour or so, I was in my room doing my work when Aunty Lucy came to visit. The conversation steered towards me, and my mum kept commenting on how straightlaced I was and the fact that I never know how to ‘please’ people. Later, the conversation turned to Aunty Lucy’s son. Dad was saying how smart Thomas was to pass his driving test on the first try. What he left unsaid was ‘Chris didn’t pass her first try’. It was something he was unhappy about. He told me ‘You should take it seriously, it’s not a game you know’. And I told him ‘Of course I took it seriously! Did you think I wanted to fail?’

I don’t know. The start to this CNY isn’t the greatest.

Barfly

Cher and I went to Clarke Quay last night.

Wah! Since when did it become touristy?! As I was walking to The Clinic I saw so many Chinese and Japanese tourists complete with camera dangling from neckstraps and waist pouches. Also have you noticed that tourists always wear tee-shirts, berms and sport shoes?! Why???

We went to Clinic, which is nice. I wanted quite badly to try the drink that is served in IV drip format but in the end settled for 3 shots of something blue-y that tastes of butterscotch and strawberry. Yummy.

Then we went to Barfly, which I like much much much better!

(My phone is great. It was a very dark photo and I brightened it up a little using this editing function on my phone )

Very nice ambience and the staff was really polite and non-snob. As in they asked if it was our first time and if we wanted to be shown around. The only downside I can think of it the toilet is located in such a weird place.

It was really funny. Cher and I were standing in the middle of Barfly thinking ‘Should we stay here or go to Kandi Bar?’ And the staff who was showing us around said ‘We have a promotion tonight, 1 for 1 on all martinis’.

We were immediately sold. ‘OK! Table for 2 please!’ We said brightly.

I love love love the chocolate martini. I preferred it to the one I had at The Balcony.

Anyway, I missed just sitting down and talking with friends for hours.

:(

I am down with the worst case of Hives ever!!!

On Thursday my skin was blotchy and full of welts and today it is a little better but my legs still have red patches and #%$#%@ it looks damn gross.

Worst 12 hours of my life and I feel sooooo unattractive and miserable.

Anyway, it is not contagious. For me it is brought on by eating one too many shrimp cocktails (okay I ate 12) and Cher and I deduced that it was the shrimps. Actually it is pretty much a no brainer since prawns/shrimps are quite toxic, but of course it didn’t dawn on me as I was eating it (for dinner).

But I have been avoiding people (except for CJ and Cher last night) cause I don’t want them to see my legs and I keep having this mad idea that hives are contagious.

Anyway ARGH I look gross do you know hives ‘travel’ and ARGH is this what chicken pox looks like!!!

On CNY Eve

On CNY Eve, AlexDavidJackie and I were looking for a place to go after reunion dinner. When we walked past Settler’s Cafe, we saw this sign.

Talk about redundancy.

Ended up at Clarke Quay and happened to see people riding GMax, the reverse bungy.

Took a picture of them suspended in mid air. I liked how the trees look.

TAR All Stars

Oswald and Danny!!!

 

They had me from Season 2 when they went shopping in the midst of the race. And Oswald’s comment on wrangling the horse, cutting the tail and clipping their nail – ‘I can cut someone’s hair and give them a manicure’ and ‘My face feels like it’s going through menopause’

I hate the reality tv whores/Romber. I know they are good, and they are dominant in this game. I just wished I liked them more, then this show would be more enjoyable. But I don’t like them one bit. It makes watching this show very irritating for me.

I don’t like Charla and Mirla too. They are too abrasive. In fact, I prefer Teri and Ian and Bill and Joe to them. I don’t like the so called beauty queens either.

John Vito and Jill are elimated Why are the good and nice people always eliminated?

In love with your own ideas

I had to do this interactive media project and we had to come up with a dream machine. Ourfirst idea was shot down as being not audacious enough (online bartering portal) – all right, I understand because I am not very overwhelmed by this idea either.

So the next week we met again and discussed ideas. I thought of something I would really like to have and I thought it was a great idea!

The other group members don’t think so cause they thought it was too out there.

But like everybody out there, I am very in love with my own idea and can’t bear to see it shot down. While I did compromise and give in to the other idea - intelligent kitchen - and I do like our new idea, I still feel like my idea was good. So I’m writing it here – you know, in case it gets developed in the future, you saw it here first.

—–

Recording Experiences

(It will have a cooler name than that but my job isn’t to think of  cool names )

We started with cameras and voice recorders. We wanted to capture that moment in time, a visual representation of that one moment that was important to us. We wanted to record in words, how we felt at that moment in time.

When this is not enough, we had video recorders. Sound and visuals in one recording. It satisfies our sense of sight and hearing.

But we always wanted more. Today, we have 3D tours (just google 3D tours or virtual reality tours or here is an example - http://www.bsa.gla.ac.uk/knosos/index.htm?vrtour) and it feels like you are standing at one spot and you could see 360 degrees around you.

Very well. That wasn’t difficult, given the technology we have today.

But what if you wanted to feel exactly like you were there? (Besides actually going there )

Is it possible that other than audio and visual, you want to feel and to smell? Let’s say I visited Thailand’s Songkran Festival (water festival) and the experience was great and I wanted to record exactly what I’m seeing and hearing (conventional video recorder). But in addition to that I also want to remember what I’m feeling (water droplets on my back) and smelling (the smell of the streets, the people etc).

Wouldn’t it be great if I had this machine that records all these, and plays it back for you every time you want to experience it again? You’ll probably need a chamber of sorts, and when you pop in the recording of the experience, you could actually do more than see and hear what happened. You could smell and feel!

I’m not very good at explaining, and my concept is hazy. I’m actually looking at MIT http://www.media.mit.edu/research/ to see if anything like that is in the works but am not sure about which department to look into. I did find a journal article sometime back called The Matrix of Inspiration that talked about developments in this field.

I’m sure I’m not the first person to think of this (technology is so much more advanced than we know!) and I’m sure I’m not the only person who thinks this is something that will happen sometime in the future.

(Not sure where to file this. I don’t have a ‘geek’ category)