If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,

‘Huh? Got mosquito ah?’

Yesterday during driving lesson I had to try out several test routes.  The instructor asked me to drive back to the center about 20 minutes before end of class, so I thought it was to test me on other circuit items.

So I was driving along the track. And I was stoning (a little). And  -

WHAM! 

The instructor whacked the dashboard. Really hard.

I glanced over at him from the corner of my eye. The first thought I had was -

‘Huh? Got mosquito ah?’

I was about to ask him just that, when he looked at me.

‘How come you didn’t stop?’

Then realisation dawned.

‘Oh no! I forgot!!! I’ve never done E brake before!!’ 

I just hope I am more alert during the test.

On how to mask your feelings

Recently, I got into a bit of disagreement working with my close friend in a project. It was quite an awkward situation. And I think it can be said that none of us (probably) liked what happened very much. I don’t think it is fair to blame anyone, but I guess my friend has reached a threshold, and so had I.

Some friends are just meant not to be working partners, whereas you can have friends who work well with you on projects. I guess it depends very much on personalities, and also the ability of both parties to draw a clear line between personal friendships and a working relationship.

Maybe also a bit of luck.

Back to the topic at hand, I realised I had the tendency to take offense quite easily. I am also not too good at masking my emotions, hence I show my displeasure very easily. It’s written all over my face. And I have a tendency to be very defensive, which, coupled with my inability to mask my displeasure, cause me to get into arguments quite frequently.

But I don’t deal very well with arguments. When people ran into confrontations head on, I tend to keep silent and withdraw. Many people think that by that I am ignoring them – therefore drawing the conclusion that I am really rude and arrogant.  When in actual fact I just dislike confrontations and prefer to walk away. To me, walking away is not being rude, I’m just taking myself away from the hostility. Because I know that if I get involved, I would get really heated up.

Apparently my withdrawal is also cause for unhappiness.

I seriously don’t know how I am going to survive when I start working. Every single fricking emotion is written explicitly on my face! If I’m pissed it shows. And of course that is not the way to go if you want to build relationships / backstab people etc. Notice how the same quality leads to two different outcomes?

And then when I withdraw myself to avoid confrontation, people get offended.

Sometimes people ask for too much.

Change

I’ve never been very good with change. I normally won’t actively seek change – rather I find that I will only change if (1) everybody else is changing (2) I have no other choice (3) I do it on impulse.

That’s not good.

During driving lesson a few weeks back the instructor told me, ‘You take too long to make decisions when you are driving. You must learn to make judgement quickly, correctly and then execute them. You are too prone to second guessing yourself. You have to be more confident and assertive.’

Then as a parting shot, he said ‘You must learn to be more selfish’

I made up my mind to change, but it is not an easy process.

I need to be more driven, I need to be more assertive, I need to be more confident.  I don’t want to change too much.

Useless

I just watched the ‘No pork’ video my friends were talking and laughing about.

It wasn’t funny at all.

What is the deal of those two morons? Did they think it was funny? It wasn’t in the least bit amusing, and I can’t imagine how people would think it was funny. It wasn’t even like harhar stupid jokes funny. It was just… dumb and pretty much useless.

Where do they get their giggles from? From the angry Indian guy who was so exasperated he shouted? The man was so polite to them, and was there taking all their shit until he couldn’t tolerate it any longer.

I can’t imagine what kind of people would think it was funny. It wasn’t remotely funny at all. I expect many teenagers to find it amusing and want to record similar audio/video. That is depressing. Even if it was a joke video.

Most of all, I find these people useless and waste of space.

i’m a lazy, perverted rockstar

zomgsokawaii!!!!

I found Buddy’s family!!! :D:D They are the TY Pluffies collection… but apparently they are all retired! Strangely I think it’s kind of cute they call their old soft toys ‘retired’. They are all so cute but notice Buddy is the cutest. (Buddy is the last snowman.) And they are all so fat!!! : )

And before CJ says ‘You don’t love Bobby’, I’ve also found Bobby’s family! Bobby’s family is the TY Jingle Beanie (retired) collection. Bobby is the first snowman, and I think he looks the most mischievious.

the place where I fell asleep inside you

My favourite pick-me-up song. The lyrics are quite… erm… it’s about this relationship, and both of them were doing crystal meth. And they are kind of high or something like that.

But I really like the music. It’s happy.

PMS

PMS is irritating.

A couple of days back, my mood was swingly so crazily even I think I was part schizo. Seriously, I felt kind of bad for CJ. He was on the receiving end of conversations that go something like this -

Me ‘Today was a good day! My group members are coorperative and blah blah blah’

CJ ‘That’s good to hear’

Me ‘Blahblahblah’

CJ ‘Sweetie maybe you should walk closer to this side, so you won’t block the path of those people’

Me ‘Why? Why should I? Why should I make way for that girl? You think she is chio is it!!!’

CJ ‘What?!’

Me ‘Don’t talk to me don’t touch me I need to think!!!’

*5 minutes later*

Me ‘Lovey I’m sorry about just now… I think maybe I’m having PMS…’

CJ ‘Ya I guessed just as much…’

Me ‘What!!! You’re not allowed to think that!!’

Maybe I AM part schizo.

Geeks in Sg

WOW launching Burning Crusade yesterday… So of course the bf was there to get his copy.

I did not know there were so many geeks in Singapore! The creators Blizzard (I keep calling Buzzard… hm wonder why) must be really rich.

People were getting their games by the caseload. And the number of boxes stored there seemed insufficient to provide for all of them.

That wasn’t the entire crowd. The people snaked out of the exit at World of Golf, and headed out… I took the next photo from the opposite side window.

ZOMG! I don’t think you will find a queue that long even if Hermes announced a 50% off sale. Then again maybe you would.

My favourite geek with his redemption card thingy.

I don’t really know what was the fuss with the game until Jacq told me ‘They have blood elves!’ So I went to look at how the blood elves look like -

Wow. They are quite chio.

Maybe CJ will create a blood elf. *HINTHINT* Can you imagine the clothes for the female blood elf!!!

I just watched the blood elf and draenei dance on youtube… zomg the male blood elf dance is hilarious! And their /flirt is quite cute.