It’s just a party.

I’m not affected I’m not affected I’m not affected.

With a good photographer, you can capture moods better than a good writer.

I hate the way I need serious anchors.

*

And I’m snubbed. Fine.

Last night

(24/6)

Maybe the no strings attached thing is good after all.

Yesterday was good. Spent the morning at some color seperation plant to see how they prepare stuff for print. You know, I don’t know there are so much stuff to prepare before sometimes goes to print. CMYK are not just alphabets, they mean something!

And then went to the education centre, where I got my weekly dose of Ed, and how adorable he is this week!

Then the guys at Pulau Ubin MMSed me… I’m missed! =) So touched.

* I don’t normally write about my dates, but I thought I’d write this down.

Quiet days

Lately I’ve been going home after work. Lyn was quite shocked – ‘You’re going home today? Wow!’

I’m gonna do a point form kind of update cause I’m quite lazy to find a focus.

• After fucking up the first email (which I think was not a really as huge a deal as I made if out to be) I managed to continue by emailing clients but forgetting to attach files / colour proofs etc. I feel like a moron sometimes.

• Went out drinking with the girls yesterday cause Hui was feeling shitty and I was feeling quite sad too. Went to Dblo where omg did you know they have jugs of Lychee Martini? And do you know they actually hire girls to dress up as Wonderwoman and Catwoman to dance on the podium? Damn weird. And G drove us back in his really cool car (Okay, BMW convertible… I’m a big beemer fan!)

• Did you know BMW drivers have more sex than owners of other cars? Random fact of the day.

• F asked me to go around to galleries to ask about their loaning policies (to be used for photoshoot) but didn’t really tell me how I go about travelling to these places. I happened to be meeting E for lunch that day… and he just gave me a lift to all the places I needed to go. I’m kind of touched that he did so without me asking him to. Also F told me to try and take photos, but didn’t pass me a camera. E helped me take the photos, went home and loaded it on his computer and sent it to me. I really didn’t know what to do if he hadn’t been there.

• People at work have been very nice to me, especially D in Traffic and my immediate superiors. Although I think this woman in Production hates me, but maybe I’m over sensitive. It’s been a month! I can’t believe it. I’m still finding my way around. I just really understood what a colour proof was yesterday.

• I got True Religion Brand Jeans! I love them, they are so funky!

• I met D yesterday at Temasek Towers to have lunch. I was the most casually dressed person there, and that’s why I love my intern job. I was in jeans and a camisole! Hahahah! I love it.

• Feel like wearing a dress to work on Monday. Also feel like shopping!

• That day when I was looking at the class list pasted on the board, L suddenly said ‘You really look like Lin Zhi Ling from sideview’ She’s told me that before, and I didn’t see the similarity. Haha… The first time round I was like ‘Who’s that?’ She showed me a photo and… I still don’t see the similarity. (Maybe because she’s freaking gorgeous!) I googled her and she turned out to be this supermodel from Taiwan… I’m very flattered. =)

• Happy Birthday SL and MM! We had a wear-a-dress day and I wore the bohemian-ish dress they bought for my bday.

• Okay I’m bored already.

Drops of Jupiter

In one of my favourite songs, they sang a short stanza that goes like this

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken

Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong

Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation

The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

I love the way they captured the emotion. No maudlin sentiments, no I'm so sad and I miss you blah blah blah, but they captured it so well. The emotion is more real and so much deeper than dumb boy band ballads.

Sometimes I think he's too nice to me. Like today. I don't know what I would have done without him, but I still feel nothing. I keep trying to tell myself to appreciate, to see the good. And I do, but in a way entirely different from what I think comes from him. But really – am I using him? I don't know. I don't initiate anything, but I guess that doesn't make a difference. 

My favourite kid

Yesterday he walked over to me when I was sitting in the classroom. He showed me a copy of YG (Young Ge*eration, remember?) magazine.

Then he pointed at the Cinderella and Toy Story pictures and looked at me.

His sister said ‘My brother likes Cinderella. He’s so girly’

‘Really? About Cinderella?’ I asked

‘Yeah, he wants to marry her’

Hahaha.

I turned to him and asked him ‘You like Cinderella, Edwin?’

He nodded. Then pointed to the picture again. ‘I like this one,’

Then pointed to Woody in Toy Story. ‘And this one’

He’s so adorable!

Oranje!

Yay Holland!

I can't wait for the 22nd match! Holland v Argentina should be good!

Watched the Argentina v Serbia match with Cher and colleagues at some bar beside the bungee thingy at Clarke Quay. The atmosphere wasn't very good though, kind of subdued, even with 6 goals that night.

Then walked over to MoS where they got us in. There's some private party there I think… in one of the function rooms. They were passing out champagne. Anyway, XH was telling me that one of the guys we got introduced to was some bigwig at Moet. Then I realised we were drinking the Moet Imperial Rose pink champagne. Haha. It's quite nice.

Then went to Pure where we watched Holland play Cote d'Ivorie. We were sitting at this reserved table when the people who actually who reserved the table came. Haha… they were very nice though (guys la, if they were girls they'd kick us off) and told us to take the table and chairs if we wanted to. So we kind of hung around with them. They were quite nice. Haha.

The match was good! I much preferred it to the Argentina one before. Probably cause I'm an Oranje fan… haha. Okay, I am the yesteryear Oranje fan. No Bergkamp, Overmars and Stam but I'm still loyal to them! Anyway, they played alright… kind of lost it after their 2nd goal, but I'm glad they pulled through. I'm gonna make excuses for them – they are a relatively young team, they haven't gotten their momentum blah blah. The 93rd minute penalty was absolutely crazy. I was so afraid they'd draw, and then have to struggle on the Argentina match.

Anyway, new eyecandy!

van der Vaart. No. 10 just like my beloved Bergkamp!

I have no email etiquette

It’s official. I feel like a moron.

I told Cher if I dropped dead there and then it would have been great.

I am so not looking forward to tomorrow.

How can someone fuck up something so simple like an email?

Okay it’s not something terrible, it’s just 3 major faux pas in a 20 word email.

Sometimes I really feel that I need someone to tell me it will be okay.

Suddenly feel like the urge to drop this whole no strings attached nonsense and find serious ropes to anchor myself to someone but I still can’t bring myself to stop wanting to flirt with him and to have little strings attached to him and so on.

Although. It is dumb, and I know it’s nothing at all really.

And I know that I shouldn’t do anything cause I have people to answer to.

But sometimes you want a someone there so much. Just any someone.

And sometimes I think of you.

I am not supergirl after all

I thought I could pull off the work 7 days a week thing but after a while something's gotta give. I'm sitting here (instead of being at work) on a Sunday morning after dblo last night trying to fight off a bloody headache. I've stupidly offered to go back to office in the afternoon so I have to get my act together by 1. Damn. I just realised that the t-shirt I am wearing (and wore to sleep last night) was the one E got me from Sydney and I have not taken off the tag but it's really comfy. 

So anyway, the importance of rest. And also of not thinking you are superhuman – and try to pull off the whole I-can-club-till-5-and-work-at-9-tmr-morning shit.  

Was out having dinner with E when Hui and Mel called… they wanted to club. Have I mentioned how people have been asking me out to club but I couldn't cause of work? Thursday D asked if I wanted to go Velvet and he could get us in, and Mel and co are going Mos. Friday was Butter Fa*tory with Sam and co and also Yike called and asked if we wanted to go Mos. In the end all I did was go out with drinks with Cher at Far East Sq*uare. Haha. I couldn't go for all due to lots of reasons. So ya, I was quite itching to go out. 

I watched Eng v Par last night at Ice Cold B*er with a couple of friends and it was quite fun. Later we went to dblo and it was so fun hanging out with the 4e2 people! Haha… I mean it's always fun to go out with Fanny and Ericia but hanging out with them last night was a different kind of fun. Namely cheap drinks and lots of dares. I kind of let slip something quite embarrassing and I really hope Liching doesn't go ask her friend about it cause I'll just die.

At work it has been quite fun. The internship is turning out a bit better lately. I think I have to be a bit louder though cause I think the word is that I'm damn quiet. Haha. I don't think I can say much about internship here cause I am damn paranoid and I don't know who's reading this. Suffice to say it was fun. I got 'sent out' for an assignment on Friday. It was fun! 

Things at the kid centre is really great too. I got to teach L & L … and they are absolutely adorable! They were like 'Are you teaching us today?' and when I said I was, they were like Yay!

And then yesterday I got to see my favourite kid again! Okay let's give him a name – Edwin. He's so adorable! He was wearing a little Burberry polo tee yesterday. I practically parked myself in front of his table and talked to him the whole of the class. Okay not really talk cause he's just like 3 years old and he's quite quiet. After class I went to another classroom where Edwin's older sister was with Lynn. I kind of know Eve, his older sister. So I was sitting near the table when Edwin wandered in and waited for his sister. He's so cute!!! So I was getting little card toys for him to play. Then Eve was like 'Hey Edwin, do you like that teacher?' I wasn't facing him cause my back was turned for a bit to get some more cards. I think he nodded or something cause later Eve said 'Hey he likes you!' *yay! Lynn was like 'Wow I think you just made her day' Haha… He's so cute! If I have a kid I want him to be like Edwin! 

Okay, I'm off to eat breakfast and bask in my happiness.  

Words lose their courage

'So many words get lost. They leave the mouth and lose their courage, wandering aimlessly until they are swept into the gutter like dead leaves. On rainy days you can hear their chorus gushing past : IwasabeautifulgirlPleasedon'tgoItoobelievemybodyismadeofglassI'veneverloved
anyoneIthinkofmyselfasfunnyForgiveme…'

I'm still in the midst of reading The History of Love and I absolutely adore the quote above. The History of Love is about this girl who is named after every girl in this book called The History of Love. In this book the writer wrote 'excerpts' from the original book and the above quote was from a chapter called 'The Age of String'. It's about how in the past, people carry string about to 'guide' their words so it won't falter. The entire passage is wonderful. I also enjoyed 'The Age of Silence'.

I thought the above was an absolutely lovely paragraph, a beautiful way of putting across the idea of lost chances and things that were never said.

Then again, there are things that you shouldn't say but you did.
Today on my way to work was a great example of losing it. On the train I was standing behind this guy when an indian woman came and squeezed herself in the tiny space between me and the guy. I was in a foul mood all morning (the usual I-hate-public-transport spiel) and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I snapped 'What are doing? Why are you standing here?' I know I know. It doesn't make sense but I was really angry.

There are a lot of things I want to say, but I don't know how to say it. I'll say it now, I hope it'll get across. Chances are, it won't but at least these words would have a chance to wander out. Maybe it won't end up in a ditch somewhere.

On religion

Just a short post sort of thing, not gonna write a long discourse about it or anything. I've never been one who fervently believes in a religion. 

I am not sure I believe in a god.

It takes a leap of faith to do that.  

But I am convinced that we all need to something or someone to believe in – hence a higher being or a god.